Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
