My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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