I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
