It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
