Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
