The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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