wanna go halves on a baby?
he thought i was a dude.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
