I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
