I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
