whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
