I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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