Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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