dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need water and some morals
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
