omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
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