it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
