If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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