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Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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