I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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