If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
