There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How external is "for external use only"?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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