Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
