Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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