I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
