I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
