i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
