yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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