go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
