a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
