That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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