we made out on top of his cat.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How does one acquire holy water?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
