i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize