did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
