I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize