If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
