nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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