"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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