I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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