The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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