I wish I could punch you in the face.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
