I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
