So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
