as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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