my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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