What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
