Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
