; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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