If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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