Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
how does that bad decision feel?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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