so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You are the jesus of drinking
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
