Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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