I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
