so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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