i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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