Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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