I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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