i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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