Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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